


Why Valhalla is not for Sif

by Keenir



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: ...seriously you don't want to know how many I used to write this, Coda, Einherjar (Norse Mythology), Gen, SO MANY PLOT BUNNIES, Self-Blame, Valhalla, is it irony if an Asgardian refers to Snorri?, movie coda, reference to Jane Foster, reference to Járnsaxa | Jarnsaxa of the Iron Knife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:49:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keenir/pseuds/Keenir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor offers Sif a place in the most elite unit Asgard possesses.  Sif declines.</p><p>(it's understandable that Thor would like to know why, right?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Valhalla is not for Sif

Some things, the sagas distorted. Once upon a time on Midgard, mortals believed that valiant warriors and laboring mothers would enter the halls of Valhalla when they died; they believed too that Odin's warrior maids, the Valkyries, would pluck the dead fighters from battlefields and place them in the Einherjar, a fighting force ready for the coming of Ragnarok. That isn't entirely accurate.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

As he followed the young Einherji cadet to the training sands, Thor hoped that all involved would see reason - or at least a return to normalcy after so much recent disruption - and he thought to himself, _Now that I have proven myself worthy, the Allfather has granted me permission to begin selecting those whom I would add to the roster of our most formidable fighting force. But why would my first choice...elect to turn down such an appointment? There was a time when we_ all _sought membership in it - and not even royal blood could get one in._

There were more than just other cadets standing around the training sands...Thor recognized some of the instructors from several different barracks, as well as those who had graduated at least as long ago as he had. The Warriors Three were unsurprising in their presence - particularly as Sif was here. Hod and Bragi were distinctive, but not noteworthy; unlike Freya... _She sits in the Allfather's war counsel, one of his advisors alongside Tyr. Why is she here? Coincidence?_

Sif was sparring with Ullr - _Helping him check that all his broken bones have been set correctly,_ Thor noted; just as Sif had always been the Right Hand of he and Loki, Ullr was the Right Hand of Sif, the one who placed himself between their ward and danger - _and Darcy would rightly say that Sif is thrashing his butt,_ Thor also noted.

"Perhaps he would fare better if you found a different sparring partner?" Thor asked, interupting the fight, such as it was.

Ullr looked at Thor and took the hint: he signaled his surrender to Sif, who grimaced but accepted it and helped him off the sands to where others could tend to his wounds.

Thor took a step onto the sands.

Sif turned swiftly and glared figurative daggers at him. "Do not walk the sands, Thor, if you do not wish to fight."

"When have I turned down a chance for battle?"

She looked like she wasn't saying the first thing to cross her mind, or the second. "You asked me a question earlier. I answered you," Sif said. "Praytell, is this about that matter?"

"And if it is?" Thor asked.

"Then Loki was right. And Odin's banishment of you ended without you having learned the lesson for which you were banished."

"On the contrary, I did learn -"

"How to take a hint? Clearly not," Sif said. Her glaive had been out the entire time she had fought Ullr. But only now did she let it unsheath the blade. "I failed to commit regicide once - do you believe I will fail a second time?"

Thor paid no heed to the gasps and quiet exclamations of reaction to Sif's question - and he made small motions for all to keep calm and remain where they stood. "You are my friend, Sif."

"Friendship is no reason to have me transferred to the halls of Valhalla. And I was Loki's friend, as well; and he was your friend, as well."

"I will spar with you," Thor said. "But I will not fight you."

"There will be no difference."

"Sif, if this is because of what has befallen Loki...all of Asgard mourns the loss of him and -"

Faster than a human could move and only moderately swift for an Asgardian, Sif had one forearm pressed against Thor's throat. "Do not interpret or misinterpret what I am thinking or am moved by, my prince. Do not even think to do so, Prince Thor, declared successor of Odin, future king of Asgard the head of the Nine Realms. I grew up among the Einherjar, and know the minds of that race - without speaking a lie, I could plant so many doubts into the mind of your Jane. I have been, after all, your Right Hand ever since the death of Jarnsaxa; centuries in close quarters have raised situations which I doubt Jane would misunderstand any less than did Snorri's kin."

At the mention of Jane, Thor's hands tensed, particularly the fingers gripping Mjolnir; so soon after Loki's remark threatening-promising to pay Jane a visit, Sif's words were less than welcome. But then Thor looked into his old friend's eyes.

Haunted eyes. Hunted eyes. The look you get when you blame yourself for something, and can't understand why others don't blame you too.

"What does Odin's Son want with me, a shield maiden?" Sif asked.

Thor did not take the bait. "Sif, I would ask that you accept my nomination, and become my first choice to enter the ranks of Valhalla."

 _Valhalla._ The elite of the Asgardian army, and also the name of the barracks which housed them.

"And I say to you, No," Sif said. "Ask it of me again, and I shall leave even our band, and return to the Einherjar."

 _Einherjar._ The descendants of Midgard's fighting elite, and the name of their barracks. Some who came from Vanaheim, Alfheim, or other realms, often trained in the Einherjar before they were considered for the Army of Asgard.

"Then they are most fortunate to have you," Thor told her.

She bowed her head, and took a step back - protocol was drilled into those of her childhood barracks, after all - and then she walked away.

Hogun looked at Thor as if to ask 'What did you just do?'

Fandral turned his head to watch Sif leave; _if this is to be my last view of her..._ he reasoned.

"Spar with me," Thor said, calling to Sif. "One last time."

Sif stopped and turned her head. "I will not join Valhalla, my prince. I would accept a position among the Berserkrs."

Snorri and his kin had gotten that mostly right - berserkrs were not an elite, but they were an assemblage of Einherjar, Valhlalla, and others who fought with more savagery than honor or care, and tended to be forward flank of the army at war.

"We will see, will we not?" Thor asked, and Sif's reply was to charge headlong at him.

There was nothing graceful about this battle, this short warfare; it was no duel. Their weapons were used, but more as distractions to catch the attention to where the attack could go but didn't. Each gave as good as they got, but Sif had fires fueling her that Thor didn't - _anger, at least,_ Thor could recognize as his feet were abruptly no longer in contact with the sand. 

Once Thor had landed on his back, Sif stepped atop his chest to prevent him from rising back up. The tip of her glaive against the pillar that was Thor's throat, Sif told him, "Hurl Mjolnir somewhere harmless and do not summon it back. I would explain."

 _At last_ , Thor thought, and complied, throwing his Hammer far away, and letting it soar.

Sif sat upon his chest, not moving her glaive from its position. "I swore to defend Asgard. In my youth, I swore that and to obey all orders of the Throne. It was easy when Odin sat there. I fought to defend and serve the princes of Asgard."

Thor nearly nodded, but didn't, because he valued his throat.

"But then the Allfather collapsed, and I did nothing. I was not even useless - I was worse than that. I was indecisive!"

 _You came and got me,_ Thor knew. _You helped me save the people of that town on Earth._

"Three days you were on Midgard. **Three days** during which I could have come and done something which would have returned Mjolnir to your hands."

Thor tried to imagine what Sif could have done which would have proven him worthy of Mjolnir and his powers again, given that it had taken the Destroyer's energies to accomplish that...and Thor shuddered at some of the thoughts.

Sif lifted the blade a tiny tiny amount, enough that Thor could speak.

"You did what you could, when you could."

"My _brother_ was loyal," Sif told him, spitting the word across Thor's face. "Loki only turned on him _after_ the Destroyer was sent to Earth." _But Loki's plot depended upon Heimdall having been incapacitated, so that was not so much punishment, as it was planning._

"I could have bent a knee and recognized Loki as the new king, the new lord of Asgard. I could have left sooner and made you able to return to take the throne I had insinuated was rightfully yours. I did _nothing_ ," Sif said. "I did not obey my king, I did not rush to recover you, I did nothing for Asgard _when it mattered most!_ "

Thor decided to try a different tack - "You were not the only one reeling from the rapid shift in circumstance," he told her. "I was a poor guest for much of my banishment, and I was raised to know all that is obligated of both host and guest in every nation of every Realm."

"You were in shock from abrupt mortality. I was indecisive. Valhalla is no place for the indecisive."

"It was the once -"

"When the day of Ragnarok does arrive, you will not want anything less than complete faith in those under your command. 'Once' creates a niggle, a worry, a fear that it will happen a second time, and again it will be at a moment that is vital," Sif said. "I took too long this time, and you nearly died, and Loki perhaps has. I am a threat to Asgard - either I rejoin the Einherjar, or I join my mother in exile."

 _None know where your mother is, Sif,_ Thor thought, but knew she didn't want to hear that. _Nor do I know why she opted for exile._ "I trust you. That has not changed," he told her.

Sif stood and, sheathing her glaive and putting it on her back, she stepped off Thor, saying "Then you _are_ a fool," and walked away.

Thor held out one hand, and _willed_ Mjolnir back to him, and it landed there seconds later. He saw that Sif did not pause or hesitate or stop, but she slowed... _as though challenging me, daring me to strike her down._

He didn't. And she kept walking.


End file.
